How to Find Your Core Values Using Brené Brown's Method
You make 35,000 decisions every day. How many actually match what you care about?
Most people never find their real values. They follow what others expect. They chase empty goals. They wonder why success feels hollow.
Research from Harvard Business School shows something powerful. People who live by their values report 42% higher life satisfaction. They sleep better. They stress less. They enjoy their success.
Today you'll learn a simple 3-step system to find your core values. Then you'll use them to guide every decision you make.
Why Most People Never Find Their Values
Here's the problem. Most people try to live by 10-15 values. This creates chaos. Every choice becomes a battle between competing priorities.
Brené Brown spent 20 years studying this. She found something surprising. People who live with integrity don't have more values. They have fewer.
Her research shows resilient people choose just 2-3 core values. These guide every major decision. When faced with tough choices, they ask one question: "What would my values have me do?"
Barry Schwartz studies how people make choices. His research backs this up. People with fewer core values make decisions 3 times faster. They experience less regret. They feel more confident in their choices.
The Brown-Schwartz Values Discovery Framework
This system combines two powerful approaches. Brown's vulnerability research meets Schwartz's choice psychology. The result is a clear path to your authentic self.
Step 1: The Peak Moments Method
Think of your three proudest moments. What made each moment special?
Here's what to do:
- Set a timer for 10 minutes
- Write non-stop about each moment
- Focus on how you felt, not what others thought
- Look for patterns in what mattered most
Example: Sarah wrote about winning a debate tournament. She realized it wasn't about winning. It was about standing up for something she believed in. Her core value was courage.
Time needed: 30 minutes total What you'll discover: Patterns in what makes you feel most alive
Step 2: The Values Cut-Down Process
Start with this list of common values: Achievement, Adventure, Authenticity, Authority, Balance, Beauty, Challenge, Community, Compassion, Creativity, Excellence, Family, Freedom, Friendship, Growth, Happiness, Health, Honesty, Independence, Justice, Knowledge, Leadership, Learning, Love, Service, Success, Wisdom.
Now eliminate ruthlessly.
Here's how:
- Cross out values that don't spark anything in you
- Trust your gut reactions
- Don't overthink the choices
- Keep cutting until you have 10 values
- Cut again to 5 values
- Finally, choose your top 2-3
Example: Mark started with 27 values. After cutting, he found his core three: Family, Growth, and Integrity. Every major decision now runs through these filters.
Time needed: 20 minutes What you'll get: Your core values emerge naturally
Step 3: The Daily Values Check
Each evening, rate how well you lived your values. Use a 1-10 scale for each core value.
Set it up like this:
- Set a phone reminder for 9 PM
- Spend 2 minutes reviewing your day
- Ask: "Did my actions match my values?"
- Score yourself honestly
- No judgment, just awareness
Example: Lisa's core value is authenticity. One day she scored herself a 4. She realized she'd spent the whole day pretending to agree with her boss. The next day she spoke up respectfully. She scored herself an 8.
Time needed: 2 minutes daily What happens: Your behavior slowly aligns with your beliefs
What Changes When You Know Your Values
Week 1: You make faster decisions. No more endless debate about simple choices.
Month 1: Your stress drops. A University of Michigan study found that values-aligned people show 31% less stress hormone during tough situations.
Month 3: Your relationships improve. You attract people who share your values. You set clearer boundaries with those who don't.
Stanford research shows people who complete values exercises score 15% higher on well-being measures within 90 days.
How to Use Your Values Every Day
Values only matter when they guide your actions. Here's how to apply them:
For career decisions: Before taking any job, ask if it aligns with your top values. If freedom matters most to you, don't accept a controlling boss.
For relationships: Share your values early. See if they match or complement your partner's values.
For daily choices: When you feel stressed, return to your values. What would someone with your values do right now?
The goal isn't perfection. It's alignment. Small daily choices that match your values create the life you actually want.
Your Values GPS System
Think of your values like GPS for life. They don't eliminate all wrong turns. But they always point you toward your true destination.
This system works because it's simple. You're not juggling 15 competing priorities. You have 2-3 clear guides for every decision.
Real example: Tom's core values are family, growth, and service. When offered a high-paying job that required 70-hour weeks, he said no. It failed the family test. Instead, he took a role coaching other leaders. It checked all three values boxes.
Try This Today
Your values already exist inside you. This framework just helps you find them.
Pick Step 1 from today's system. Set aside 30 minutes this weekend. Write about three moments when you felt most proud and alive.
Look for patterns. What values show up in all three stories?
Your future self will thank you for this clarity. Every decision becomes easier when you know what really matters to you.
Build Your Complete Growth System
Want more frameworks that simplify personal growth? Check out our personal development planning guide for a complete system. Or explore our goal-setting framework to align your objectives with your newly discovered values.
The Brown-Schwartz Values Discovery Framework gives you the clarity successful people use to build meaningful lives. Start today. Your authentic self is waiting.
