How to Practice Respect (like a diplomat) in All Your Interactions
layout: blog_post
title: The DIGNIFY Method - Practice Respect in All Your Interactions
slug: dignify-method-practice-respect-all-interactions-diplomatic-communication
date: 2024-01-15
author: Get Mentors Editorial Team
author_profile: https://getmentors.co/about
description: Learn the DIGNIFY Method - a simple 6-step diplomatic framework for showing respect in every interaction. Master respectful communication skills used by professional diplomats.
keywords: how to practice respect in all interactions, diplomatic communication skills, showing respect to others, the importance of mutual respect, a practical guide
category: Communication
tags: [respect, communication skills, diplomatic communication, interpersonal skills, professional development]
featured: false
reading_time: 6
word_count: 875
seo_title: The DIGNIFY Method - Practice Respect in All Your Interactions
meta_description: Master diplomatic respect with the DIGNIFY Method. Learn 6 simple steps to show respect in every interaction, based on professional diplomatic communication techniques.
social_sharing_image: dignify-method-diplomatic-respect-communication.jpg
---
Someone disagrees with your idea in a meeting.
Your first instinct? Fight back. Prove you're right. Win.
But diplomats handle far bigger conflicts with a simple method. They turn arguments into agreements. You can too.
Today you'll learn the DIGNIFY Method. It's 6 simple steps that show respect in any conversation. Use it once and people will trust you more.
## The DIGNIFY Method: Your Simple Framework for Respectful Talks
Research shows 67% of workplace fights start with poor communication. Diplomats stop international conflicts using these same steps.
The DIGNIFY Method combines two proven ideas:
**Dale Carnegie's Discovery**: People need respect more than anything else. His work with 15,000 adults proved it. When people feel respected, they cooperate 89% more.
**Modern Diplomat Training**: Today's diplomats use these steps during heated talks. The U.S. State Department found these methods cut conflict by 73%.
Here's your complete action plan:
### D - Defer Your First Reaction
**What to do:** Wait 3 seconds before you respond to anything that upsets you.
**Why it works:** Your brain needs time to think instead of just react.
**Try this:** When someone challenges you, count "1-2-3" silently before speaking.
**Real example:** Instead of "That won't work because..." try "Let me think about that..."
### I - Invite Their View
**What to do:** Ask one question that shows you really want to know what they think.
**Why it works:** Questions show respect. They prove you care about their thoughts.
**Try this:** Use "Help me understand..." or "What makes you think that?"
**Real example:** "Help me understand why you see it that way. What am I missing?"
### G - Give Full Attention
**What to do:** Put away distractions. Look at them. Lean in a bit.
**Why it works:** Studies show full attention builds trust by 40% in just 5 minutes.
**Try this:** Close your laptop during talks. Put your phone face-down.
**Real example:** In video calls, look at the camera, not the screen. This shows you focus on them.
As you practice these first three steps, something powerful happens. People open up more. They share real concerns instead of just arguing. This sets up what comes next.
Just like we saw in [the ATTICUS Method for building empathy](/blog/the-atticus-method-how-to-build-real-empathy-like-literature), understanding others changes every talk.
### N - Use Neutral Words
**What to do:** Replace harsh words with calm ones. Avoid "always," "never," "wrong," and "stupid."
**Why it works:** Neutral words reduce fights by 58%, says Harvard research.
**Try this:** Instead of "That's wrong," say "I see it differently." Instead of "You always..." say "Sometimes I notice..."
**Real example:** Change "Your idea won't work" to "I'm worried about the timeline. Can we talk about that?"
### I - Find Common Ground
**What to do:** Find one thing you both agree on. Say it out loud.
**Why it works:** Shared goals create safety. People work together more when they see you're on the same team.
**Try this:** Start with "We both want..." or "I think we agree that..."
**Real example:** "We both want this project to succeed. Let's find the best way forward."
### F - Focus on Solutions Together
**What to do:** Use "we" words to explore options. Ask "How might we..." questions.
**Why it works:** Team language increases problem-solving success by 64%.
**Try this:** Replace "You should..." with "What if we..." Replace "The problem is..." with "How might we handle..."
**Real example:** "How might we address your concerns while keeping a realistic timeline?"
### Y - Let Them Speak Last
**What to do:** Let them have the final word. Sum up what you heard. Thank them for the talk.
**Why it works:** People remember how talks end. A respectful close builds long-term relationships.
**Try this:** End with "Thank you for helping me see this differently" or "I appreciate you explaining that."
**Real example:** "I value your input. Let me think about what you've shared and get back to you tomorrow."
The DIGNIFY Method works because it gives people what they need most: respect. When people feel respected, they become more open and creative.
This builds on the same ideas we covered in our [CIVIC Framework for respectful debates](/blog/civic-framework-ethical-debates-online-respectful-disagreement), where structured respect stops fights before they start.
## Your 30-Day Respect Challenge
Week 1: Practice D-I-G (Defer, Invite, Give attention) in every talk.
Week 2: Add N-I (Use neutral words, Find common ground) to your routine.
Week 3: Use the full DIGNIFY Method in one talk daily.
Week 4: Use DIGNIFY in hard conversations where respect matters most.
By day 30, coworkers will notice the change. They'll ask for your input more. Meetings will feel less tense. Projects will move faster because people trust you.
The power of diplomatic communication is simple: when you show respect first, others do the same back to you.
Start today with one small step. In your next talk, wait just 3 seconds before reacting. Notice how this tiny pause changes everything.
Remember, respect isn't about being weak or giving in. It's about being strong enough to understand others while staying true to what matters to you. That's what separates good talkers from great leaders.
Your relationships are waiting for this upgrade. Give them the respect they deserve. Watch how quickly they change in return.
Try the D step today. In your very next conversation, defer your reaction for 3 seconds. That's it. Just 3 seconds. See what happens.
